happy hoa hoa hoa season 🍂

in which I ruminate on the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, Pop Star Academy, and Bombas socks

Sep 29, 2024

Welcome back, everyone! I hope you had a wonderful September, full of all the Virgo vibes and fresh starts.

I’d like to start with a major note of gratitude: listening to someone’s recommendations is an underrated love language, imo. So every comment on my first newsletter saying something was useful or inspiring to you is tucked away in my heart, and I love you dearly!!

learning

It’s been an especially bonkers back-to-school season, so the brain power available for writing and studying has been limited. Nonetheless, I found some interesting things to fixate on during my rotting hours that ended up creating a helpful lightbulb moment for me.

I spent the beginning of the school year bingeing docuseries—finally catching up on the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders series, America’s Sweethearts, as well as Pop Star Academy—and I’m left thinking about the relationship between the inspirational stories these series peddle and the increasing horror with which I watched them. Others have said much more intelligent things than me on this dynamic (send me all the thinkpieces and reviews please), but I still feel the need to process it for myself.

Pop Star Academy was especially gripping to me—the story of the HYBE x Geffen collaboration to create the group KATSEYE—even though I knew the ending lol. There’s so much that’s so analogous to publishing, as Clare Osongco said; and much that, on first glance, feels inspiring:

The normalization of striving to improve. There’s a moment where one of the vocal teachers says something like, “Beyonce took vocal lessons—which means the rest of us will be taking vocal lessons until the day that we die!” Felt. Say no more.
The reflection on deliberate practice. When speaking about one of the contestants, an instructor says, “here’s what turned her from good to amazing: every month she chooses songs where, in order to sing them, she has to get better as a singer.” I’m all about challenging ourselves in the tasks we set and the goals we chase.
Sophia, the favorite from the Philippines, is described as one of the mentally strongest trainees. She writes herself a letter at the end of every day telling herself all the ways she’s proud of herself—and maybe more of us should do that instead of the critical self-talk we berate ourselves with instead.
The phrase “potent not perfect” has been resonating with me. In the doc, it’s used to describe pulling out someone’s natural voice and leaning into all its texture. But wow, what a great way to think about whatever your creative offering is, or the self you’re becoming, or the way you’re showing up on a daily basis. Potent not perfect.

Okay AND. AND I WAS SO HORRIFIED BY THE LENGTHS THE SUBJECTS OF THESE DOCUMENTARIES SUBJECTED THEMSELVES TO (OR WERE SUBJECTED TO!!).

In both Pop Star Academy and America’s Sweethearts, there were moments where I had to watch between my fingers like it was a horror film. Toward the end of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders doc (DCC for those in the know), a woman who was clearly being tormented by her dream to become a leader in this organization was considering reauditioning. (Yes, even once you’ve made it, you have to REAUDITION every year!! And you can absolutely get cut!! None of us are ever safe!!) We watched her feel like an outsider in the organization, battle with an eating disorder, get turned down for opportunities, wobble under the force of critique, and still keep giving and giving and giving in the hope of recognition. And at season’s end, I held my breath while she agonized over whether she would try again for one more year. To see if she would finally get the recognition she so desperately craved.

I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t watched and want to, but it truly could have gone either way. We watched her wobble on the edge of that decision, and the whole time I was screaming, IT’S NOT WORTH IT!! RUN!!! LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!!

And then there’s a moment in Pop Star Academy I can’t stop thinking about. Partway through, the contestants are all surprised by a twist that pits them against each other—this close-knit group that was living together in one shared apartment, swapping support on weaker skills, giving each other pep talks to keep going.

One of the most compelling, self-assured, talented contestants just… shuts down. You can see her face shuttering, see her immediately withdrawing her energy as she realizes what this pursuit has become, the way it contradicts her values.

And she peacefully, confidently walks away.

That’s what I’m left remembering, more than anything. That seeing people push past their limits to achieve their dreams is inspiring—that embracing your unique talents, finding joy in the work and practice, and cultivating your confidence is crucial—but also that the idealization of sacrifice to the point of self-destruction is deeply, deeply troubling to me. That sometimes it’s okay to walk away—or to shift your relationship to the goal.

And surprisingly, I found just that shift in… a Bombas ad.

I’ve been a longtime fan of Caroline Winkler, who has a delightful YouTube channel that ranges from interior design makeovers to dating advice, all with a really deep core of emotional intelligence and humor. She is fucking hilarious, and I follow everything she does.

And in one of her recent videos, she included possibly the best ad I’ve ever seen.

She’s reflected on the experience of making it—how for a long time, ads were this task full of drudgery, a required part of the job but not something anyone looked forward to doing. And she thought: as long as I have to do this, can I make it fun for myself?

There’s no benefit in making it fun! She gets paid the same amount if it’s a stock script or something highly creative and produced! But she thought, hell, as long as I’m doing this, I may as well enjoy it. Indulge in creativity for the pure fun of it.

And that ad was so fun (please go watch it) that the video has now gone viral because people are replaying the ad. THE AD!!!!!

I don’t know, something about this just makes me so damn happy. Someone saying, okay, I exist in this capitalist hellscape, and I want to continue to do so, and I’m going to be playful with it. I’m going to do what feels fun and right. And no matter what happens, that way I’ll get something out of it that feels deeply meaningful and joyful to me.

Saint Caroline, guide me in my efforts!!

loving

Okay, on to lighter things—a brain dump of what’s brought me joy this month:

💞 annotating with my students!! this month my creative writers built stacks of mentor texts for their own work, and seeing them dig into the craft and construction of their choices has been so rewarding

💞 playing “autumn jazz” playlists whenever I’m home to summon coffeeshop vibes and cooler weather

💞 friends reading HEART CHECK and catching inside jokes, sending me screaming DMs, and still loving me after reading my kissing scenes

💞 buying all the pumpkin things from Trader Joe’s. I am a basic hoa hoa hoa bitch and I am thriving

💞 long walks with audiobooks (especially nonfiction ones). my reading time has suffered during the whirlwind that is September, but pairing reading with movement has been a game changer, and the blast of new ideas leaves me extra energized.

💞 my annual reading retreat with my beloved book club—we decamped to Palm Springs and did nothing all weekend except read, catch up, and eat/drink delicious things. total bliss, and exactly what my nervous system needed.

💞 K.A. Cobell’s brilliant Looking for Smoke being chosen for Reese’s YA book club!!!! I screamed at work when the news was announced, and genuinely haven’t stopped celebrating. It’s so easy to be happy when a humble, kind, hardworking person + an unputdownable book + an important message + THE BEST NEWS all coincide. Cannot wait to amass even more copies.

💞 Accidental Demons by Clare Edge being out in the world!! When I was diagnosed with T1D at age 17, I was a voracious reader—and the only rec people had for me was The Babysitter’s Club. So. I really could write a whole essay on how much this book is going to mean to kids, and it is SO FUN to boot. Truly something for everyone, please go find it in your bookstore/library, we need way more of these books.

💞 last but not least, this newsletter is schedule-sent to you because this weekend, I’m getting a dear friend married and am soaking up every moment of celebrating her beautiful love story. there have already been a lot of tears—from laughing until I cried to just plain crying at really personal, moving traditions (and the wedding hasn’t even happened yet!! no way am I getting through that toast without dissolving into a puddle!!!)

lately

Apparently there’s a release date for HEART CHECK?! December 2, 2025 baby!!! I am already picturing the cozy hot chocolate-fueled reading sessions after ice skating (hopefully with a dreamy hockey player catching you when you fall…). We all know how things shift unexpectedly in publishing, but this feels one step closer to this book being in everyone’s hands, and that is making me feel FEELINGS!

let me know…

As you may know, I’ve been annotating books I’m trying to dissect/learn from on IG (come visit @emilycharlottebooks). Taking the time to read slowly and curiously fuels my own creativity and learning, and I want to be sure it remains a habit this fall. I stockpiled a few pages that inspired me to post throughout September, but the time has come to batch some more!

So: any requests? Maybe a book, or a skill that seems worthy of further exploration? (e.g. great first pages, meet-cutes, setting, character development, the elusive ~vibes~) Let me know! Would love for us to huddle over books together!!